some thoughts i had while at the hair salon.
[because i'll certainly lose the little note paper i jotted them down on while driving home]
1. Most times, it is unnecessary to preface what we say with arguments against what we are about to say. While it seems like that serves the purpose of demonstrating our exhaustive, or at least comprehensive, knowledge of the subject and popular or opposing thoughts about it, perhaps our statements can be made most bold upon the simple stating of them. This intent is necessary for our ability to be comfortable in speaking, or more specifically, in conversing. By confidently saying what we mean, we convince. In this, convincing comes to be, not as an end unto itself, but as a byproduct of our very existence.
2. By acting in the direction of love, we act in love. Although we do not automatically know how to love one another, by going in the direction of love, we indeed act in love. That is to say, love is not a mission-vision-values type of endeavor that requires an advance strategic plan or pre-charted roadmap in order for it to come to pass. If we willingly take one step at a time and commit selfless, charitable acts one to another, that is love manifest. And when love is manifest it becomes; it is engendered and grows. Its liveliness is propelled by the continual manifestations of it. So whether we know how to love or how we will love in times to come, at least in acting in the way of love, out of the way of self (pretensions, comfort for comfort's sake, greed, vainglory, personal benefit), at least in going that way, we can know that we are lov-ing. As an action. One moment at a time. One choice at a time.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
devo | ⌘n
I love the regenerative nature of the internet and many computer applications. Exhausted your things-to-do on a particular website? Enter new contents in the address bar and the site you were just on becomes the stuff of history.
No longer intrigued by the array of news at your fingertips, but considering coming back to it a little later? Hit command+t and a new tab presents amazingly endless possibilities for your investigative pleasure.
Run out of ideas as you outline that path of thought in Word? Command+n gives you an all new canvas onto which you can visualize your latest musings.
Better yet, use the Word Notebook palette and it can automatically organize those thoughts into an official outline format, giving you the space to sort your sub-thoughts and more. I digress.
The point is, computer programs allow you to create, delete, recreate, store, restore, redesign and just continue on a long-lasting adventure of doing and making. I like that.
And even more than I like that, I like how God gives us a similar opportunity to change things around. His word reminds us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We can go through life trying to make do with what we have, or we can search His word and His way for what we might be missing.
Only when our minds are renewed are we able to truly appreciate the life he has given us. With a renewed mind, we can see opportunity even where closed doors abound. We can hear "victory" when failure seems imminent.
When our minds are renewed, we are afforded a fresh start again and again. We can go forth with a blessed assurance that our next steps will be better than our previous ones, enriched by the new insight we have from hindsight.
That is vision. And coupled with the kind of strength acquired only by making a few mistakes and learning from them, this vision functions like the command+n I so love and need. Let's not forget to give God thanks for his amazing reNEWal.
No longer intrigued by the array of news at your fingertips, but considering coming back to it a little later? Hit command+t and a new tab presents amazingly endless possibilities for your investigative pleasure.
Run out of ideas as you outline that path of thought in Word? Command+n gives you an all new canvas onto which you can visualize your latest musings.
Better yet, use the Word Notebook palette and it can automatically organize those thoughts into an official outline format, giving you the space to sort your sub-thoughts and more. I digress.
The point is, computer programs allow you to create, delete, recreate, store, restore, redesign and just continue on a long-lasting adventure of doing and making. I like that.
And even more than I like that, I like how God gives us a similar opportunity to change things around. His word reminds us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We can go through life trying to make do with what we have, or we can search His word and His way for what we might be missing.
Only when our minds are renewed are we able to truly appreciate the life he has given us. With a renewed mind, we can see opportunity even where closed doors abound. We can hear "victory" when failure seems imminent.
When our minds are renewed, we are afforded a fresh start again and again. We can go forth with a blessed assurance that our next steps will be better than our previous ones, enriched by the new insight we have from hindsight.
That is vision. And coupled with the kind of strength acquired only by making a few mistakes and learning from them, this vision functions like the command+n I so love and need. Let's not forget to give God thanks for his amazing reNEWal.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
to bcm at cal
As we stood on Cal's campus today watching the display of cultural rhythms and passionate purveyors of Black pride, I was struck. I was struck by the bold display of our presence on that campus--one whose demographic statistics attest to a shrinking Black population. I loved seeing the different groups out there tabling, giving meandering Black students an opportunity to see that there are others who may be like them, others who've weathered the storms of Cal and come out stronger. But most of all, I was inspired by the leaders and participants of BCM.
You've come a long way, BCM. You students who carry the tremendous mantle of African-American Christian outreach on Cal's campus are carrying forth the vision, prayers and dreams of those of us who came before you. Those of us who preceded you in tenure at Cal can remember the days when all we had in the way of outreach was a weekly Bible study, one study that afforded the five or six of us who came faithfully an opportunity mostly to connect with each other. God gave us strength to endure the trials of attending one of the world's premier educational institutions--a place that lauds constant critical critique and often scoffs at the mere thought of believing in something/one you cannot scientifically or theoretically prove.
Still, we did what God asked us to do; we sought Him, served Him and committed our time and talents to the work of campus ministry. And more than anything, I believe that God set it in our hearts to pray. That time in BCM @Cal's history was one in which God tested our faithfulness to ask Him for what we had need of. This time in BCM @Cal's history is one in which God is rewarding that faithfulness in a way that far exceeds any predetermined expectations we may have had for Him on the campus of our alma mater.
When I sat at that BCM table and looked out at the BCM gospel choir belting out: "I'm goin' home to live with Jesus! Fare thee well, Fare thee well!" my heart leaped within me. For there, on the steps of Sproul, our beautiful people displayed our culture, gratitude and faith. We, a tireless people who have endured ridicule, withstood disparagement and survived dehumanization, can stand tall, link arms, and articulate ourselves with all the intellect, passion, and flavor with which God has so blessed us. As I listened to you all belt out with fervor your love for God, you sang the melodies of those who came before you--not just alumni, but those who paved the way--our parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, and those for whom a university education existed only as a distant dream, but one which they had the faith to believe in for our sakes. All this on the steps of Sproul.
As alumni, we have come to face new challenges and discover God in brand new ways. We've had to trust him with our post-college lives, our careers, our marriages, and new families. But one thing's remained the same; God is still speaking. He steadily reveals his purpose for our lives, makes us reconsider the myth of self-sufficiency and always preserves our hope. There, on the steps of Sproul, his hope was alive in you.
Keep serving.
You've come a long way, BCM. You students who carry the tremendous mantle of African-American Christian outreach on Cal's campus are carrying forth the vision, prayers and dreams of those of us who came before you. Those of us who preceded you in tenure at Cal can remember the days when all we had in the way of outreach was a weekly Bible study, one study that afforded the five or six of us who came faithfully an opportunity mostly to connect with each other. God gave us strength to endure the trials of attending one of the world's premier educational institutions--a place that lauds constant critical critique and often scoffs at the mere thought of believing in something/one you cannot scientifically or theoretically prove.
Still, we did what God asked us to do; we sought Him, served Him and committed our time and talents to the work of campus ministry. And more than anything, I believe that God set it in our hearts to pray. That time in BCM @Cal's history was one in which God tested our faithfulness to ask Him for what we had need of. This time in BCM @Cal's history is one in which God is rewarding that faithfulness in a way that far exceeds any predetermined expectations we may have had for Him on the campus of our alma mater.
When I sat at that BCM table and looked out at the BCM gospel choir belting out: "I'm goin' home to live with Jesus! Fare thee well, Fare thee well!" my heart leaped within me. For there, on the steps of Sproul, our beautiful people displayed our culture, gratitude and faith. We, a tireless people who have endured ridicule, withstood disparagement and survived dehumanization, can stand tall, link arms, and articulate ourselves with all the intellect, passion, and flavor with which God has so blessed us. As I listened to you all belt out with fervor your love for God, you sang the melodies of those who came before you--not just alumni, but those who paved the way--our parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, and those for whom a university education existed only as a distant dream, but one which they had the faith to believe in for our sakes. All this on the steps of Sproul.
As alumni, we have come to face new challenges and discover God in brand new ways. We've had to trust him with our post-college lives, our careers, our marriages, and new families. But one thing's remained the same; God is still speaking. He steadily reveals his purpose for our lives, makes us reconsider the myth of self-sufficiency and always preserves our hope. There, on the steps of Sproul, his hope was alive in you.
Keep serving.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
an entry for august
So I have to post in this blog at least before the month is over. It's a bit difficult to post regularly in this blog when I have 5 other blogs, carefully divided into categories that reveal the different parts of me: educator, new mommy, prayer, tougher stuff. I like compartments sometimes. They at least help me organize my thoughts and they add some nice little themes to my life--ones that I'm certain will prove helpful when I begin to assemble my memoir. All these autobiographical tidbits will be useful and relatively easy to access, especially with the neat little "label" function on these blogs.
Anyway, I have a number of things I've wanted to write about in this, my semi-public blog, but whether it's the option of posting them in another blog, or the subtle intimidation that the very pronouncement, "I gotta write in my blog about this" introduces to the endeavor...I haven't successfully done so. Among the desired topics: my first time making a really good dinner after following a recipe (as seen on tv) and the joy that ensued (from the cook and the diners). Another topic I wanted to reflect on here was writing (again), as I was notably inspired upon reading Toni Morrison's Love. We share the same birthday, by the way. If I've been endowed with even a smidgeon of her talent, whew! That is yet to be determined.
Alas, life calls again. I'm off to have one last chat with Q before she leaves for college tomorrow. Thus, the blogging will resume later.
Oh, I do want to mention that I discovered an upcoming opportunity for bloggers to hear from Scott Rosenberg, the author of a book about blogging. It's called Say Everything: How Blogging Began, What It's Becoming, and Why It Matters. November 4th up at Cal. Hope to see you there! (I think that's the first time I've spoken directly to my readers in a blog, ever. Cool. (OK, enough with the metacognitive stuff)). Good night ;)
Anyway, I have a number of things I've wanted to write about in this, my semi-public blog, but whether it's the option of posting them in another blog, or the subtle intimidation that the very pronouncement, "I gotta write in my blog about this" introduces to the endeavor...I haven't successfully done so. Among the desired topics: my first time making a really good dinner after following a recipe (as seen on tv) and the joy that ensued (from the cook and the diners). Another topic I wanted to reflect on here was writing (again), as I was notably inspired upon reading Toni Morrison's Love. We share the same birthday, by the way. If I've been endowed with even a smidgeon of her talent, whew! That is yet to be determined.
Alas, life calls again. I'm off to have one last chat with Q before she leaves for college tomorrow. Thus, the blogging will resume later.
Oh, I do want to mention that I discovered an upcoming opportunity for bloggers to hear from Scott Rosenberg, the author of a book about blogging. It's called Say Everything: How Blogging Began, What It's Becoming, and Why It Matters. November 4th up at Cal. Hope to see you there! (I think that's the first time I've spoken directly to my readers in a blog, ever. Cool. (OK, enough with the metacognitive stuff)). Good night ;)
Saturday, July 25, 2009
dreams | on writing
I really want to be a writer one day. I know, I know, I'm already a writer, right? In fact, I'm writing right now! But you know what I mean--a published author. One who has evidence of a process of thinking and articulating and putting thought to (ultimately) paper. And then of course, revision and feedback and finally...a tangible tri-dimensional artifact, complete with front cover and a nifty About the Author section. And of course a dedication--poignancy packed into just a petite few words. Ah! To have a published piece of work.
I know that I do indeed have a lot to offer, wherewith all of my experiences and funny way of retelling things, post-reflection and analysis. In fact, I have a journal full of personal experiences and circumstances that could very well make some bomb writing topics. At this point, I think it's just a matter of mustering enough courage to brave the risk that comes with writing, editing and publishing your work.
I mean, I just look at all these memoirs and witty fiction that are coming out and I get so excited. Like the one there, by the supermarket clerk who turned her humdrum, less-than-i-imagined, not-what-i-really-wanted kind of life into a bestseller! And it's a funny one too! Talk about making lemonade out of lemons! And I think it's great that in a world with so much diversity and different experiences that people like to bring to the forefront, underneath it all, we all have something in common with someone else. And others can benefit from seeing themselves in our stories--real or fiction.
So, to that end of stepping out of the box of anonymity and withheld talent, I am going forward with my dream of publishing a childrens' book for and about children of incarcerated parents. I know a friend from high school who maybe could illustrate it. We have an entire community of folks who would be able to relate to the subject, including churches that participate in the Angel Tree program, serving hundreds of kids here locally and hundreds of thousands nationally. I mean, it would be so amazing to be able to give these kids who often feel so isolated, whose parent's incarceration has become a secret condition, to be able to give them a book in which they can see themselves!
I don't even necessarily want to make a profit. I just want to give to kids who are like I was a chance to feel recognized, validated, and important. And I certainly don't have to be a best-seller, just want to impact some kids who need encouragement, and some folks who could use the insight on this oft-ignored fallout of mass incarceration. This venture would represent a unique coupling of my interests and talents: children of incarcerated parents + writing + testimony. All for the glory of God.
So, right now I'm researching existing children's books, the best of which so far seems to be this one, which like mine, highlights the love in the midst of the difficulty, and depicts an African-American family. Besides Woodson's book, it seems like there are very very few books that have been published in the past 5 years on the subject, nor are there many that show families of color or highlight the love that prevails. I think I've found a good niche here.
I've also been reading a book I've had for years now, All Alone in the World. It was written by a prolific journalist and highlights, with heart, the stories of these children in a format geared toward passionate workers for justice. I originally received it as a gift upon meeting with the director for Community Works, when I was applying for a job there years ago. It's funny (yet amazing) how these opportunities just build upon each other and how as long as your passion never dies, neither will the possibilities for your dreams.
A man’s gift makes room for him, And brings him before great men. Proverbs 18.16.
i.e. your gifts will make room for you, and cause you to go places you never imagined. At least that's my interpretation...
I know that I do indeed have a lot to offer, wherewith all of my experiences and funny way of retelling things, post-reflection and analysis. In fact, I have a journal full of personal experiences and circumstances that could very well make some bomb writing topics. At this point, I think it's just a matter of mustering enough courage to brave the risk that comes with writing, editing and publishing your work.
I mean, I just look at all these memoirs and witty fiction that are coming out and I get so excited. Like the one there, by the supermarket clerk who turned her humdrum, less-than-i-imagined, not-what-i-really-wanted kind of life into a bestseller! And it's a funny one too! Talk about making lemonade out of lemons! And I think it's great that in a world with so much diversity and different experiences that people like to bring to the forefront, underneath it all, we all have something in common with someone else. And others can benefit from seeing themselves in our stories--real or fiction.
So, to that end of stepping out of the box of anonymity and withheld talent, I am going forward with my dream of publishing a childrens' book for and about children of incarcerated parents. I know a friend from high school who maybe could illustrate it. We have an entire community of folks who would be able to relate to the subject, including churches that participate in the Angel Tree program, serving hundreds of kids here locally and hundreds of thousands nationally. I mean, it would be so amazing to be able to give these kids who often feel so isolated, whose parent's incarceration has become a secret condition, to be able to give them a book in which they can see themselves!
I don't even necessarily want to make a profit. I just want to give to kids who are like I was a chance to feel recognized, validated, and important. And I certainly don't have to be a best-seller, just want to impact some kids who need encouragement, and some folks who could use the insight on this oft-ignored fallout of mass incarceration. This venture would represent a unique coupling of my interests and talents: children of incarcerated parents + writing + testimony. All for the glory of God.
So, right now I'm researching existing children's books, the best of which so far seems to be this one, which like mine, highlights the love in the midst of the difficulty, and depicts an African-American family. Besides Woodson's book, it seems like there are very very few books that have been published in the past 5 years on the subject, nor are there many that show families of color or highlight the love that prevails. I think I've found a good niche here.
I've also been reading a book I've had for years now, All Alone in the World. It was written by a prolific journalist and highlights, with heart, the stories of these children in a format geared toward passionate workers for justice. I originally received it as a gift upon meeting with the director for Community Works, when I was applying for a job there years ago. It's funny (yet amazing) how these opportunities just build upon each other and how as long as your passion never dies, neither will the possibilities for your dreams.
A man’s gift makes room for him, And brings him before great men. Proverbs 18.16.
i.e. your gifts will make room for you, and cause you to go places you never imagined. At least that's my interpretation...
Friday, July 24, 2009
community | growing as mothers
So I just got done meeting with jj, a woman I respect and admire. As a pastor's daughter, ministry leader & partner to us, thinker, mom and wife, she has quite a bit of experience and insight that has already proven helpful to me. As she shared of their time living abroad, leading ministry and going through various transitions from students, to living internationally, to campus ministry leaders, and just as husband and wife, I definitely had some ideas flowing. Most notably, I really get the sense that everything will most certainly be okay. That everything we're experiencing now is only a part of the journey.
I'm really thankful for community. I'm looking forward to continuing to build that community around us as a family, couple, husband, wife, pastor, first lady, mom, everything. I shared with jj how there are a couple folks in our lives that we really, really trust. Who don't gossip, try to compete, who aren't jealous, who are spiritually mature, experienced in life, reflective, willing to speak the truth in love, who respect our roles as pastor and first lady and are 100% willing to defer to our judgment when it really comes down to it. Those are the golden folks, the people who we will be able to count on and who will pour into our lives and help us bear the burdens, including those ministry can bring into the equation.
It is totally fine that not everyone will fit into that category. Some others will be Timothys--ones who we will pour into and help on the journey. While those relationships will not be entirely one-sided, their nature will largely be defined by a degree of sharing only as is reasonably manageable, and for the purpose of edification. In other words, it's fine and normal only to share with people only what both sides can handle. And as the relationships mature, we'll use discernment and go along as it comes.
I'm looking forward to more intentionally connecting with women who are mothers and who are into education and social justice. It's going to be nice to reach out to more people who have similar interests to mine, and who want to raise their children to be mindful and loving toward others, and to love learning and fun as well. It is not necessary for a woman to be a Christian in order for us to connect. I think that's one of the hidden blessings that has come with becoming a mother myself, that I have been able to connect with more women than before, simply because we both have children. I can still remember my mom hanging out with women from time to time--women who were of different races and various circumstances, but with whom she could, if nothing else, connect with about mothering. It was always fun for me as a kid to hang out with their children while my mom and her friend (Mary, Sabrina, Lynn, Michelle, Susan) talked. A less-intentional form of a playdate, I suppose.
And now that it's my turn to think about and plan playdates, I'm blessed and honored to have a great selection of like-minded mothers around me. Ones who are still trying to understand what it means to be successful even when its traditional forms, which we've gotten accustomed to, suddenly escape us (prestigious schools, work that's both professional and passionate, awards and accolades). Mothers who grapple with the realities of our time: wanting to carry out some traditional roles of women, yet now doing so in a postmodern society that urges women to operate in, shall we say, a newfound freedom, a life with less boundaries. Ah, the progress in which we so foolishly believe (cf. Tropic of Orange).
Nonetheless, I look forward to connecting in new ways with those facing some of the same issues, transitions, joys, and questions that I am. I know that in a multitude of counsel, there is wisdom, and I am committed to seeking out that wise counsel without fear. Even when the hesitation creeps in, I will still venture to defeat it. I pray that God will continue to help me be trusting, open and willing to get to know others, and to love them with a gentleness, sincerity and authenticity that comes only from Him.
Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established. Prov. 15:22.
I'm really thankful for community. I'm looking forward to continuing to build that community around us as a family, couple, husband, wife, pastor, first lady, mom, everything. I shared with jj how there are a couple folks in our lives that we really, really trust. Who don't gossip, try to compete, who aren't jealous, who are spiritually mature, experienced in life, reflective, willing to speak the truth in love, who respect our roles as pastor and first lady and are 100% willing to defer to our judgment when it really comes down to it. Those are the golden folks, the people who we will be able to count on and who will pour into our lives and help us bear the burdens, including those ministry can bring into the equation.
It is totally fine that not everyone will fit into that category. Some others will be Timothys--ones who we will pour into and help on the journey. While those relationships will not be entirely one-sided, their nature will largely be defined by a degree of sharing only as is reasonably manageable, and for the purpose of edification. In other words, it's fine and normal only to share with people only what both sides can handle. And as the relationships mature, we'll use discernment and go along as it comes.
I'm looking forward to more intentionally connecting with women who are mothers and who are into education and social justice. It's going to be nice to reach out to more people who have similar interests to mine, and who want to raise their children to be mindful and loving toward others, and to love learning and fun as well. It is not necessary for a woman to be a Christian in order for us to connect. I think that's one of the hidden blessings that has come with becoming a mother myself, that I have been able to connect with more women than before, simply because we both have children. I can still remember my mom hanging out with women from time to time--women who were of different races and various circumstances, but with whom she could, if nothing else, connect with about mothering. It was always fun for me as a kid to hang out with their children while my mom and her friend (Mary, Sabrina, Lynn, Michelle, Susan) talked. A less-intentional form of a playdate, I suppose.
And now that it's my turn to think about and plan playdates, I'm blessed and honored to have a great selection of like-minded mothers around me. Ones who are still trying to understand what it means to be successful even when its traditional forms, which we've gotten accustomed to, suddenly escape us (prestigious schools, work that's both professional and passionate, awards and accolades). Mothers who grapple with the realities of our time: wanting to carry out some traditional roles of women, yet now doing so in a postmodern society that urges women to operate in, shall we say, a newfound freedom, a life with less boundaries. Ah, the progress in which we so foolishly believe (cf. Tropic of Orange).
Nonetheless, I look forward to connecting in new ways with those facing some of the same issues, transitions, joys, and questions that I am. I know that in a multitude of counsel, there is wisdom, and I am committed to seeking out that wise counsel without fear. Even when the hesitation creeps in, I will still venture to defeat it. I pray that God will continue to help me be trusting, open and willing to get to know others, and to love them with a gentleness, sincerity and authenticity that comes only from Him.
Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established. Prov. 15:22.
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