is it just me...

or is the world moving just a little too fast these days?

Maybe it has something to do with Sarai turning one already. Maybe it has to do with the number of changes I've gone through within a relatively short period of time (became a minitry leader, married, finished grad school, prego, baby, and now a toddler). But whatever the cause, things seem to be happening a bit faster than I can keep up with.

I think of the phrase, "hold that thought." Seems like I can't hold onto any thought. Far too often, I'm downstairs, just about to leave when suddenly, I remember--I need to grab some diapers for the diaper bag! I race up the stairs, two at a time, and land at the top, slightly winded. I stand there at the top, and look around: our room, baby's room, office. "Now, what did I come up here for??"

There is definitely something wrong with that picture. I'm not even 30, and I'm having problems remembering something within a span of like, 30 seconds.

I am a product of the rapid-technology generation--those of us who barely remember the world without computers (started typing and working on Macs when I was only 9 years old). I grew up on Sesame Street on TV and Street Fighter on Super Nintendo. I remember the proliferation of the Information Superhighway; while I was in middle school, I created my first online social networking profile (remember blackplanet??). And a short few years later, I opened an email account that I still use today. I have been well-connected for a while now.

Yet, I'm beginning to feel a bit encumbered by the abundance of information to which we now have access. Call me crazy, but...I'm starting to miss the days of less information! Less news to consider, fewer points of view to navigate through, fewer distractions, fewer messages torpedoed my way!

Now, there are always emails to respond to, startling status updates, text messages galore. Family is a fragmented concept; friendships are virtual; and neighbor almost equates with phantom.

We can spend hours behind computer screens, focus intently on teeny text message apparatuses, and read news line by line without blinking an eye. Yet spending more than a moment in prayer has become laborious, seeing each others' hearts is like trying to see through a dark mosaic veil, and watching the sway of the trees is only a foreground for our incessant thoughts.

But like I said,
maybe
it's just
me.

Crafts Galore

I'm on this really strong craft binge right now. It started with the scrapbooking. Then it was crocheting, (which didn't go too far). Then I got excited about doing a puzzle. But I bought a 1,000 piece one and didn't have the patience to finish it. We did about 100 pieces before I had to go get one of those puzzle mats that let you roll up what you're doing and come back to it when convenient.

Nevertheless, here lately, with the holiday season, my creative spark has reignited. As a result, I embarked on a dazzling array of projects: front door wreath, garlands, 50+ christmas cards, handmade Christmas gifts for our neighbors, complete with intricately handmade tags, and photo frame gifts. It's very exciting.

I've always had an affinity for crafting. I've tried my hand at a number of activities throughout the years: latch hook rugs, sewing with Grandma, origami (on a very amateur level), painting picture frames, a teensy dab of cross-stitching, and, of course, some painting (watercolor, mostly).

But the cool thing is, now I've got the freedom and resources to actually build on my crafty inclinations. With working part-time, having a daughter, trying to save money (on gifts, home decor, and the rest), and trying to be as resourceful as possible by reusing what we already have, crafting comes as a natural hobby worth loving. During the Black Friday sales, I was able to snag a nifty $99 craft cart for about 30 bucks. Complete with drawers and about 20 compartments for all my pens & little embellishments, it's a dream come true. It even has little ribbon spindles on the side!

So with that, I'm in the process of reorganizing our kitchen to accommodate these little treasures. While doing so, I posted on my fb that I was looking for organization supplies. One fb friend responds, "The Container Store is great!" Ha! Container Store my foot! The stuff they sell is priced at least 3x what it's probably worth. More like Ikea's $2 magazine holders. That's my kind of deal. I really love how it's all coming together. Slowly, but surely!

It's funny how I'm able to come up with craft ideas and inspiration even without cable TV or spending lots of money on books. Between At Home with Lisa Quinn, which comes on LiveWellHD channel 7-2 (thanks, DTV!), She's Crafty, which comes on some obscure dtv channel but I guess is aired in Canada, and of course, the big mamma jamma--the internet, complete with YouTube and a host of great idea sites, I've got all I need to be on a creative roll! I've been soaking up sites like:

http://www.designspongeonline.com wonderful craft projects, modern, easy-to-follow directions, clear pictures. The site authors are funny, speak to the audience directly, so I've grown "familiar" with this site.

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/ inspiration for home decor, diy projects. Some ideas are a little too avant garde for me, but I still like browsing the posts and pics.

http://photojojo.com/ I recently discovered this site (thnks to lisa quinn), but I've already fallen in love with it. Hands down the best photo projects I've ever seen. Nifty tools and ideas that reveal the creators' creativity. Love, love the ideas, the pictures, the uniqueness of the projects they've posted. Just all-around cool.

Finally, I just want to say Thank You, Lord, for bringing me this far. I remember when I didn't even have a place to keep any of my belongings. I also remember the precious times I got to share with Grandma while I was a child & pre-teen. We'd take countless trips to Hancock Fabrics and the other craft store nearby it. She'd let me pick out which patterns I wanted to work on: mostly shorts, simple skirts and a couple times, some really hard dresses that I'd need serious help from her on. She'd also continuously support my decisions to try something new. Even if it was something she'd never worked with before and that she didn't know if I'd actually follow-through with, she still bought me the supplies and gave me the space to create. I am eternally grateful for that. I believe that's what gave me the confidence to pick this back up now, with hopes of making things that show thoughtfulness, love and effort.

It is my prayer that Grandma's very best would continue to live on through me and the things I create. It is also my prayer that Sarai (and subsequent children) would love crafts, emanate creativity, and embrace projects with passion and humble gratitude. I hope that my family will look forward to creating things together and see arts and crafts as an opportunity to discover and share their hearts and selves with others. I'm thankful that the times of lack I've experienced have birthed within me the qualities of resourcefulness, gratitude, and a strong resolve to make the most of what I have. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

Reflection | My Sister's Keeper

As promised months before it came out, I went to see Sister's Keeper with Q today. We were originally drawn to it largely because of its title, or at least I was, largely because we can both relate to having that title in our own lives. We are our sister's keepers. First because she was deaf. And then because she was not well. Just the glimpses of those two title sisters holding onto one another for dear life reminded me of how I've felt with Nettie plenty times before. In a mall in So Cal, in a hospital in Fresno, in a sandbox on Pleasant. No importa where, mas importa how.

So when we first heard of the movie, Q and I determined we'd have to see it together, knowing that perhaps it would take us on a trip down memory lane. Confident that it'd spark in us a reflection on how we love our dear sister in that way only bearers of the weight of illness can grasp. The story did not disappoint. It certainly called to mind a number of components of the untold story of familial coping with illness. I recognized the heightened dysfunction, the constant tug-of-war over whose will is most noble, the desire to advocate somehow aggressed into anger and abuse, and the woeful apology that blares through it all, though muffled. It finally emerges, whispered.

I am sorry for hurt the family. Very sorry.

Even though it was never her fault. Nor is the need for the apology the fault of the family. The sickness is no one's fault; the aggressive love is no one's fault, but all the while, the pain is very real. It is a difficult cycle whose origination, impact and legacy are quite hard to discern.

Nonetheless, as has ours, the family in the movie persists. Despite the darkness, the questions, the ups, downs and everything in between, they figured out a way to love each other. Masked, shrouded, flattened, silenced, or even mangled...Love still prevails.

Thank you, Jesus.