community | growing as mothers

So I just got done meeting with jj, a woman I respect and admire. As a pastor's daughter, ministry leader & partner to us, thinker, mom and wife, she has quite a bit of experience and insight that has already proven helpful to me. As she shared of their time living abroad, leading ministry and going through various transitions from students, to living internationally, to campus ministry leaders, and just as husband and wife, I definitely had some ideas flowing. Most notably, I really get the sense that everything will most certainly be okay. That everything we're experiencing now is only a part of the journey.

I'm really thankful for community. I'm looking forward to continuing to build that community around us as a family, couple, husband, wife, pastor, first lady, mom, everything. I shared with jj how there are a couple folks in our lives that we really, really trust. Who don't gossip, try to compete, who aren't jealous, who are spiritually mature, experienced in life, reflective, willing to speak the truth in love, who respect our roles as pastor and first lady and are 100% willing to defer to our judgment when it really comes down to it. Those are the golden folks, the people who we will be able to count on and who will pour into our lives and help us bear the burdens, including those ministry can bring into the equation.

It is totally fine that not everyone will fit into that category. Some others will be Timothys--ones who we will pour into and help on the journey. While those relationships will not be entirely one-sided, their nature will largely be defined by a degree of sharing only as is reasonably manageable, and for the purpose of edification. In other words, it's fine and normal only to share with people only what both sides can handle. And as the relationships mature, we'll use discernment and go along as it comes.

I'm looking forward to more intentionally connecting with women who are mothers and who are into education and social justice. It's going to be nice to reach out to more people who have similar interests to mine, and who want to raise their children to be mindful and loving toward others, and to love learning and fun as well. It is not necessary for a woman to be a Christian in order for us to connect. I think that's one of the hidden blessings that has come with becoming a mother myself, that I have been able to connect with more women than before, simply because we both have children. I can still remember my mom hanging out with women from time to time--women who were of different races and various circumstances, but with whom she could, if nothing else, connect with about mothering. It was always fun for me as a kid to hang out with their children while my mom and her friend (Mary, Sabrina, Lynn, Michelle, Susan) talked. A less-intentional form of a playdate, I suppose.

And now that it's my turn to think about and plan playdates, I'm blessed and honored to have a great selection of like-minded mothers around me. Ones who are still trying to understand what it means to be successful even when its traditional forms, which we've gotten accustomed to, suddenly escape us (prestigious schools, work that's both professional and passionate, awards and accolades). Mothers who grapple with the realities of our time: wanting to carry out some traditional roles of women, yet now doing so in a postmodern society that urges women to operate in, shall we say, a newfound freedom, a life with less boundaries. Ah, the progress in which we so foolishly believe (cf. Tropic of Orange).

Nonetheless, I look forward to connecting in new ways with those facing some of the same issues, transitions, joys, and questions that I am. I know that in a multitude of counsel, there is wisdom, and I am committed to seeking out that wise counsel without fear. Even when the hesitation creeps in, I will still venture to defeat it. I pray that God will continue to help me be trusting, open and willing to get to know others, and to love them with a gentleness, sincerity and authenticity that comes only from Him.

Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established. Prov. 15:22.